Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 04: "Like It Was"

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What have the housewives been up to? Well, following on from last episode, Edie was the first to witness Mike waking up from his 6-month coma. She is surprised to see him all responsive and rushes out to let the medical staff know of this development. Wisteria Lane is not immune to the powers of the grapevine, and pretty soon, Mike having woken up is the hottest piece of news being spread around the mouths of the neighbourhood. Susan, however, is still holed up in the mountains playing honeymoon with Ian and doesn't catch wind of all the furore surrounding her Mike because of the bad reception at Ian's place. As Edie is tending to Mike, she realises that he has retrograde amnesia following the accident. His memory of the past 2 years are missing! She doesn't waste any time in filling in the blanks to her own liking, badmouthing Susan off to Mike. She paints a nasty, trampy, stalker-y picture of Susan and insists to him that they were never in love. Finally, Julie manages to reach Susan and amidst the static, manages to convey the message. Susan is beyond shocked and starts to feel awful and guilty about not being there when Mike woke up because, of all things, she was canoodling with Ian in the mountains! Upset, she gets Ian to hurry up and get her to the hospital. When they arrive, she tells him that they never should have happened. Ian says to not say that because she's the best thing to have happened to him in a long time. She regrets not being able to return his feelings and rushes into the hospital to see Mike. She finds out that Mike doesn't remember her, shocked to be the recipient of his frostiness. He basically tells her not to bother coming back at all. A stunned Susan acquiesces and leaves. Edie watches her go with a malicious smile on her face before entering Mike's room.

Lynette is trying to teach Parker (I think he's so adorable!=D) to not be a quitter by forcing him to continue playing baseball, even though he sucks and no one appreciates his participation. While watching the game, she notes the kick-ass pitcher and later bribes the young boy with a $50 to make Parker look good! When Parker finally hits the slow-ball, it ends up soaring towards the pitcher to knock him on the head! While tending to him, his parents discover the $50 in his pocket and he points the finger at Lynette! Uh-oh... Parker gets thrown off the team but, unfortunately for Lynette, now has a renewed enthusiasm for baseball! So she bribes the coach to squeeze in just one more game and he'll suck and then he can be off the team. But to Lynette and Tom's dismay, he hits the ball! And starts running round the pitch with people cheering. They groan, realising he's not about to abandon baseball now! Until Parker falls down, hurting his ankle, providing them with a loophole. So, as it is, Parker can't play because of his 'hurt ankle';) Among other developments, Tom had taken Lynette's remarks about not being a quitter personally, especially with her dangling an ad job offer constantly in front of him. He questions her decision to support his dream. (Spoiler: I hear he wants to open a pizzeria! And Lynette is going to be co-owner so she'll be quitting the office!)

Carlos and Gaby are still haggling out their imminent divorce. Gaby has a garage sale featuring Carlos' things ("Oh, the gloves aren't just off...(yells this part to the customers) they're 70% off!"). It's a tactic to get Carlos to pay the alimony she requested. He returns later to say that he has agreed to pay her the alimony she requested, but because of that, he was forced to give up his small apartment. And that means that he has to move back in with her, as he is well within his rights! They have a little war booming in their house with each doing spiteful gestures to the other. One day, Carlos returns home to find that Gaby has changed the locks. He breaks in to the house so Gaby decides to make trouble for him by calling the cops. The cops are disgusted to learn it's just a couple's quarrel. Things backfire for Gaby as it turns out that one cop is fresh of a divorce of his own and takes Carlos' side. A slap to the arm ends up getting Gaby handcuffed and bought to the station as Carlos looks on with a smug expression. Later, Carlos comes to post bail and pick Gaby up. She is less than pleased to see him. In the car, Carlos urges her to drop the bitterness and for them to just say what they really feel. Because they both know they're going to get back together anyway. Gaby scoffs at this statement. Carlos decides to get the ball rolling by offering his confession: He still loves Gaby. Gaby tells him she doesn't love him and hasn't - not for a long time. He ignores this, saying she's just saying it to hurt him. She retorts by smugly saying that if she wanted to hurt him, she'd tell him about her dirty weekend with one John Roland. This prompts Carlos to stop the car and drag Gaby out of it to dump her in the dirt. She objects and huffs after him but stops in her tracks when she notices the murderous look on Carlos' face. Later we see her looking despondent as she tells her divorce lawyer that Carlos can keep the photo albums as they hold no sentimental value for her. Aww...

Bree is trying to play happy families, what with Andrew's return and all. They concoct an alibi, saying Andrew has been at a prestigious drama camp. Attending Danielle's history fair, an older man makes eyes at Andrew and it turns out the seemingly respectable doctor is one of Andrew's clients when he was trying to survive on the streets! Orson discovers this and, fulfilling his desire to not have any secrets between him and Bree, lets her know when she asks what they were talking about. Bree is shocked, but more so by the seemingly respectable very married doctor! She asks Gaby and Lynette about their positions on letting the wife know that he husband has been unfaithful. Gaby advises her to not tell the wife because the messenger always ends up being the victim of the wife's resentment. I liked the bit Gaby said when Lynette says, "So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn't tell me?" "No, but I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him ^_^" Despite this, Bree goes on to tell the woman in question because if it happened to her, she would want to know. Unfortunately, the wife, who always had her suspicions, resents Bree giving her an unwelcome, vivid image of her husband's infidelity. She retaliates with sharing a tid-bit of her own: It's common knowledge that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher, Mr. Falati! Bree confronts Danielle but Danielle angrily slams the front door on her as she leaves the house, saying that they love each other and Bree couldn't break them up. Andrew goes to sit next to his mom on the stairs. She tells him she's sick of feeling like the worst mother in the world. She's tried so hard to teach them right from wrong, where had she gone wrong? Andrew sagely tells her that they do know right from wrong, they just choose 'wrong' because "Sometimes when you push a kid so hard to go one way, the other way starts to look more entertaining"they do know right from wrong, they just choose 'wrong' because "Sometimes when you push a kid so hard to go one way, the other way starts to look more entertaining". I really like the Bree-Andrew moment. Heart-wrenching. Bree puts her arm around Andrew and they have a moment as she tells him that if he ever wanted to talk about what happened while he was on the streets, there's nothing he couldn't tell her. Andrew looks tearful as he says he's not ready yet.

"We all have our reasons for rewriting history. Sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibis. Sometimes we want to hurt someone who has hurt us. And then there are times we just want to spare ourselves embarrassment. Of course, there are some who feel that to rewrite history is just another way to lie. But what is history anyway...but a set of lies agreed upon?"

Reminds me of what I was talking about in this post of history being what mass perception understands it to be, rather than being 100% honest truth because, after all, how would we know? Anyway, catch next DH ep, Ep 05: "Nice She Ain't"